Parenting: A Journey of Sacrifice and Growth
Church in the Community - Media Release in the Herald: 15th April 2024
Parenting is undoubtedly one of life's greatest challenges.
Often, the toughest battles are fought not by the children, but by the parents themselves.
In the relentless whirlwind of daily life, couples find themselves drifting apart as schedules dictate their rhythms.
For single parents, navigating these turbulent waters alone can make establishing and enjoying healthy friendships seem like an insurmountable task.
Men often feel like champions in the workplace, yet like failures at home; striving tirelessly to ensure their children have every opportunity for success outside the confines of their household.
Meanwhile, wives find themselves slipping into autopilot just to weather the storm of each passing day, week, and month.
Witnessing this harsh reality firsthand has been nothing short of agonizing, reminding us that true abundance in life remains elusive.
The value we place on something is reflected in the sacrifices we're willing to make for it.
Recognizing this, we recently launched "Parent Connect" at Father’s House Family Church.
Alongside my wife, Cherise, and our pastoral team, our aim is to provide a space where parents can be heard, can connect, and grow spiritually, receiving both biblical and professional guidance on their parenting journey.
In a world where we pride ourselves on being the most informed generation of parents, we paradoxically find ourselves burdened by overwhelming busyness, stress, and distraction.
The family unit is our number one tool for shaping the kind of future our children will experience.
As much as Christians should pray for Godly, ethical leaders in government, we should be cautious not to peg all our hopes on it for a bright future.
Christians are implored by scripture to go into the world and not hide away from the challenges we face in the world around us.
A lesser-known proverb of Solomon says, “the lazy person claims: ‘There is lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!’”
As we’ve seen in recent years, this could well be taken literally in our country, but the truth is that yes, there are dangers out there, and the church and its people should be at the very forefront of staring those realities in the face.
The Church has an important role to play here in supporting families and equipping them with the necessary tools to raise children who will have the guts to go out and tame some lions.
As a parent, I hope to raise children who are able to confront injustice and evil without being totally shocked and shaken by it and by increasing levels of moral entropy.
Society's broken family units present a daunting challenge, yet government programs, nonprofits, charities, and social workers tirelessly endeavour to mend these fractures.
Instead of waiting for ideal circumstances, we must actively engage in the work of restoring the family unit—a cornerstone of a healthy society.
"Parent Connect" serves as a vital platform for parents to find community, support, and guidance.
The reason for embarking on creating a space for parents to connect and to grow is twofold:
There is a need for positive, encouraging community among parents, and the Church and the family should work together to form the moral backbone of society.
Here are some things I’ve learnt in asking questions to parents recently:
Many parents are not interested in friendships with people who are increasingly cynical and despondent about everything regarding our nation and metro.
Families with grown-up children all say the same thing: “You blink, and they’re all grown up” - this behoves us to put away devices, make eye contact and to eat meals together as a family on most days of the week.
Children play, so should grown-ups. Fond memories can create longer life.
Screen addiction is a real problem. My children and many of my friend’s children have all complained: “dad, get off your phone” while looking for attention.
It’s the same tune I was singing to my own father 30 years ago, but about smoking.
Everyone has their own screen, so families are alone together and will face some difficulties down the road for succumbing to screen addiction, desire for privacy and self-sufficiency. Loneliness is a defining word for many with thousands of connections.
Parents are their children’s most important teachers and examples in spiritual matters.
We fail them if we fail to care for their spiritual growth.
Society's transformation begins within the family, underscoring the church's pivotal role in nurturing and equipping families.
However, the unfortunate reality is that church involvement often clashes with family dynamics, highlighting the need to integrate the two seamlessly.
The Church doesn’t fit in with your family, the family unit must be folded into the Church. Home Family must find its ultimate purpose within the context of The Church family.
No single family possess all the resources it needs to be a healthy Christian family. We need support, example, wise council, friendship and much more.
I recently had a conversation with someone who asked, “Vince, will things get better?” to which I responded, “probably” and after pausing added, “but probably not”.
Finally, I said, “maybe things won’t get better, but you can.”
If we can get better, things can get better.
But what sort of magical world are we imagining if we are simply waiting for improvement to come from a place outside of our homes for us to become better or even happy?
It’s delusional.
In conclusion, while external circumstances may not always improve, we possess the power to better ourselves.
By prioritizing personal growth within our homes, we lay the foundation for a brighter future. "Parent Connect" offers a starting point, extending its resources beyond the confines of Father’s House Church to embrace all families seeking support and community.
Vincent Swanepoel
Mandela Bay Church Pastor; Father’s House Family Church
Back to News Index
_______________________________________________
Please read our disclaimer